Our current helper and yaya have been around for almost a month and I’m getting comfortable with them. What I really feel right now is that I need to get a job. I guess it was never my dream to become a stay at home mom. I can see that I could enjoy this lifestyle where you just prepare everything for the family but I don’t like being dependent on my hubby. Nevermind that my job wasn’t as spectacular as I’d hope it would be. It was something I enjoyed a lot and it gave me spending money. I guess it is like my pride telling me that I can do more than just stay at home.
When I was at my 9th month and we still didn’t have a yaya or maid I didn’t hesitate to resign. Hubby and I were used to fending for ourselves with me cooking and cleaning except for the bathroom which was hubby’s specialty. However I did my research and knew that I would be courting post partum depression if I tried to do everything and take care of the baby.
I do not regret any decision I made at all. However right now I am wondering if I just killed my career? I’ve contacted numerous headhunters and recruitment firms. I’m constantly checking jobstreet and jobsdb but nada. I’ve been to several job interviews where hubby tells me that I can do better so I don’t pursue them. I’ve had a VP tell me that I’m overqualified. Maybe I should swallow my pride and work for someone who is more junior than me? I think it would just grate on me and the resentment would build up. Sigh.
What if I am supposed to be a stay at home mom? Is it destiny? I don’t think so. I think we make our own destiny. I am in this situation right now because of the decision I made. The only thing I can do right now is to keep on trying and play the waiting game. Perhaps when the economy picks up I will have an easier time finding a job.
Tags: jobhunting
