Cold snap

Things are pretty much moving along with me trying my best to be a good mother to baby J. The problem is that I can’t ever leave his side for too long since it is difficult to be too reliant on my mom to feed him a bottle. I don’t want to impose on my family too much. Another is that baby J shouldn’t cry. He has an hernia which we verified via ultrasound and will need surgery as per consultations with two pediatric surgeons. Thus when he cries a part of his intestine pokes through the hole in his abdominal wall

As per the pedia, this is farely common among male infants and the surgical operation is a simple one. However what scares hubby the most is the general anesthesia will be required. Baby J is simply to young for being operated on when we first found out. However, my fear is that one time he may not stop crying because his intestine will have become incarcerated. Right now it slips back and forth inside that abdominal wall when he cries but the possibility of it not going back to its proper place is there. Once that happens surgery won’t be elective anymore it will be an emergency.

That’s why every time baby J cries I’m on edge doing my best to make sure he stops. He is literally hurting himself more when he cries. Unfortunately he has gotten so used to me hopping to him at once that taking breaks for myself are very difficult unless he’s sleeping. He must always have someone with him watching him to make sure that he doesn’t cry. He’s also a very curious baby who insists that he be carried and walked around. He hates just staying in one place.

Anyway, we plan to schedule the surgery this month since baby J is already 3 months old and much bigger and stronger. Please pray for us.

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Being a temporary stay at home mom is making me a couch potato. At first I would watch all the cooking shows and TV shows I could. Now thanks to my mom I have actually watched a few episodes of Deal or No Deal and Wowowee. All I can say is that the banker in Deal or No Deal actually gives the fairest offer considering the remaining amounts and that probability of getting said amount. There would be a whole lot more millionaires from that show if the contestants weren’t so greedy. I’ve seen several people offered a 1M deal which they turned down because they wanted the 2M or 4M jackpot. Of course I have yet to see someone win it and usually after they turn down that 1M deal they end up with much less.

In Wowowee a woman seemed to be so easily swayed by the host’s attempt to have her say “one more” when she had already won a house knowing that if she got another “x” she would win nothing. That host was really trying to play up to a person’s greed. Good thing she finally stopped and kept the house. Turns out she was the first person to win a house and lot on that game portion. Good for her.

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Right now it is quite cold and is literally a cold snap for the week. I make sure when I give baby J a bath all the windows are closed and I run the hot water for some time to heat up the room before disrobing him. We haven’t used the aircon in some time and last night even the fan was too cold! Unfortunately in our area there are some inconsiderate people singing karaoke even at 11pm. How rude!

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Last of all I had a plugged duct last night. This is the second time it happened and I researched on the breastfeeding egroup I had recently joined what to do as well as on Google. I made sure the affected area was blasted with very warm water and tried some pressure massage. It still wasn’t budging so this morning I breastfed in the side lying position and also on all fours like a cow. My boob was literally dangling over baby J’s mouth while he fed. Good thing it actually worked and no one saw me. Whew. Plugged duct gone.

It takes a family

When I first found out I was pregnant I thought about the other moms in the office and immediately assumed that I would take my maternity leave then go back to work pronto. Over the course of my pregnancy I began to feel more attached with every little kick and nudge. I took a look at my current situation of a 1BR condo in Makati with hubby and wondered if I could really leave my two month old son at home with a yaya while we both went to work.

It was obvious that we’d have to move. There just wasn’t enough space for a baby’s crib and a place for a yaya to sleep. More to the point, I didn’t even have a yaya yet. Was I willing to trust my son with someone I barely knew and leave them in our home for 8 hours a day? The answer was no. Not when my son would only be two months old.

It was a difficult decision to make since I had always assumed that I’d head straight back to work after maternity leave. I discussed this thoroughly with hubby and we both agreed that I could take time off from work – resign even to make sure that our baby’s first few months would not give us cause for worry.

Bad Yaya!

When baby J hit the two month mark, I was relieved I made that decision. He was still so small and the yaya that my MIL found for me just didn’t fit in 100%. She knew how to take care of babies but her attitude left much to be desired. I would give her instructions and she’d follow them the first few times then do what she wanted. The longer she stayed with us the more my dislike increased.

I have magazines in our room since hubby brings home several that get sent to him. Imagine my surprise that she was reading several that I haven’t even opened from the plastic. Aba binuksan niya at nagbasa siya. First of all, ok lang sana if she reads our magazines but opening one from the plastic wrapping is kinda assuming.

I normally have snacks in our bedroom since I get hungry all the time breastfeeding. I came back one time and found her eating our popcorn! Nakita lang daw niya, wanted to try it and she only ate 3 pieces naman eh. Of course I was shocked since none of the maids in our house would even think of doing that. I reprimanded her and told hubby to do the same but he inevitably forgot.

She asked if she could go to the grocery to buy supplies so I agreed. After several hours, (with the grocery being two streets away) I texted her. No reply. Finally I called her and then she claimed she met up with her cousin in SM! She didn’t reply because she had no load. I really though to myself that she’s lying since how could she meet up with her cousin in SM without any load? They wouldn’t be able to find each other. Worse of all is from the grocery she ended up in SM without asking me if she could go. That’s just plain insubordination. It really hit on me that I could not rely on her. So I agreed with my mom’s advice that we would need a yaya and a maid when we moved to our new place. I would stay on until the maid (from my lola) could transfer to us.

The final straw that made me fire her was her day off. I specifically told her to be back by 7pm and she said she’d have to leave in the morning to do so and wanted to give baby J a bath first. His bathtime kasi is usually 11am to 12nn so that he doesn’t get cold. I insisted that she needed to back by that time and hubby said she could leave in the morning just to make that curfew. 6:30PM I told hubby to remind her she had 30 mins. 7:30Pm yaya R texts that she missed the bus and she’ll only be able to come back tomorrow. I find that another lie. If she really did miss the bus she would have texted us sooner. My suspicions were confirmed when the maids in my mom’s place said yaya R brought clothes with her when she left and claimed she was allowed to go overnight! Argh! We’re too nice daw sabi ng maids and ayun inabuso. She misjudged how reliant we were on her and trust me I did rely on her. But there was no way I wanted to have someone like that in my employ. I knew I would break my back taking care of baby J but no way did I want to even see that liar again.

It has been so difficult without a yaya but thank God we’re currently living with my family. My mom helps me take care of baby J when I’m tired and even my little sister burps him and puts him to sleep. Even our maids can be counted on to watch baby J while I sleep.

Although living with my family has increased the drama level in my life I cannot help but appreciate how we are taking care of baby J together. He recognizes my mom, his lola and even cooes at her. My dad and other sister feel their stress melt away when the spend some time with him. The privacy and independence of living with hubby alone is something I miss sometimes but I cannot begrudge the impact baby J has had on my first family.

Rising up to the challenge

After checking my last blog post turns out I only covered up to the day I gave birth. It may be 12 weeks after I gave birth but I think recalling my experience will be good as I can go back to what I have written to remember it.

The day after I gave birth I had already instructed the nurses that I would like to room in baby J. So they wheeled him in and I sent a text blast to friends that I was not receiving visitors since I wanted to cut down on possible germs that they could bring in with them. I was able to breastfeed and my family visited me again but didn’t stay that long. Hubby was very supportive always bringing me water to make sure I didn’t get dehydrated.

Night came that second day and it was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever been through considering that I used to sleep for 8 to 10 hours. Since I roomed in baby J, I was awake almost the entire night because he wouldn’t stop crying. I would breastfeed but I knew that I didn’t have any milk yet and it was colustrum he was getting. I had this feeling that his hunger wasn’t getting satisfied. Hubby was also having a difficult time because we had no idea how to comfort baby J. Morning came and I swear that L was close to tears already and he just kept trying to catch sleep whenever he could.

The day when we were going to check out of the hospital, my MIL brought the yaya she was referring to us. R was the cousin of one of my MIL’s maids and had prior experience taking care of a baby. She was quite useful in helping us carry the stuff. That was also the day she went home with us as we stayed with my family.

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I lost 10 pounds when I gave birth. I lost another 1o pounds after 1 week of breastfeeding. To date I lost another 3 pounds but I believe that’s because it was the Christmas season and I have been eating quite a lot. Anyway, I had a difficult time initially breastfeeding because I felt like J was permanently attached to my chest. It was like he was always hungry. The first 2 days I had to fend off my mom since she kept thinking that I had no milk and my baby needed formula to eat. Knowing that it takes around 3 to 4 days before your milk comes in was the only thing that helped me keep breastfeeding. Finally on the third day my milk came in and my breasts swelled up painfully. However I was glad I knew that I had milk and was feeding my baby.

I kept texting my friend Jane who has a blog on breastfeeding. I thank my lucky stars that she was so supportive in giving me advice on how to breastfeed, put baby J to sleep and basically get through those initial few weeks. I also kept referring to the book “What to expect in the first year” since I used the previous book “What to expect when you’re expecting” like a bible during my pregnancy.

I stayed in my room most of the time and even had my meals brought up. Sometimes I’d be breastfeeding and hubby would spoonfeed me. I didn’t even go down the stairs for a week since my body felt so alien. I also still had lochia and it was quite heavy the first few days.

I am however glad that hubby and I rose up to the challenge. I’m glad that until now I am still breastfeeding even though I wanted to stop so many times because I felt like a cow. What helped was that I would read all I could about breastfeeding and other people’s breastfeeding experiences so that I didn’t feel alone. In fact some of their thoughts would resonate with me like how I once dreaded breastfeeding to anticipating it as a bonding experience only my baby and I could share. How you take breastfeeding one day at a time. How it is simply so beneficial for my baby to get breastmilk for as long as possible. I’m glad I made the effort through itchy rashes due to a food allergy and a slight fever. My baby is worth it.